The sound of silence

Have you ever thought how funny it is that we are almost programmed to feel uncomfortable about silence? We often feel compelled to fill pauses in our conversations and to fill our spaces with music and noise.

Why is this?

One reason is that silence has power. Silence speaks to us with a voice that has an authority far greater than our own or of other people. It cuts through the surface level distractions of our everyday lives, mobiles/TVs/Radios, peels back the layers of protection we have created and reveals truths about who we really are.

Silence is actually our inspiration. Silence is our guide. How many of you have come up with great ideas whilst lying in the bath or just before you get up in the morning? Many of the great inventors of our time would contemplate in silence in order to tap into their creativity.

Let’s make time for silence every day.

Are you congruent with your message?

What makes you believe in someone and in what they stand for? Is it what they say? How they say it? Or is it down to whether you really feel that they believe it themselves?

In many ways it’s all of these but perhaps the one that carries the most weight is whether you feel that the person truly believes in their own message. Is it authentic and more importantly do they actually follow it themselves?  

If we take politics for example, much of the loss in public trust was caused by a feeling that politicians say one thing and then do another. You might say that this has always been the case, and there is some truth in that, but the difference now is the potential exposure. Mass communication means that we are no longer powerless to express our views. Channels like Facebook, Twitter, Digg, YouTube and the 80 million blogs out there have changed the balance of power. It is no longer from the top down.

If you are in business then this applies to your customers. As soon as they feel that your commitment to value and ethics are not congruent with your actions they will surely let you know. Probably by switching allegiance.

The magic of a letter

The question of whether technology has improved or harmed our ability to communicate is an interesting one. It has certainly improved the ease but I would argue certainly not the quality. Ironically, many of the ways of communicating, such as email and SMS, encourage one of our worst vices – laziness! How many of us have sent a text or an email to avoid giving a client difficult news or simply to avoid having a conversation with a particular person? Ahem…

And yet, I am sure that the majority of us would prefer to receive a handwritten letter from someone special to us over an email or a phone call instead of a text.

When was the last time your wrote a traditional letter? Is your handwriting legible anymore?

My brother sends postcards after a day trip in the UK. Do I feel a childlike excitement when I see them in my post box? I have to admit yes!

Let’s take 30mins today and switch off our computers, blackberrys and iphones and reach for the writing paper.

Now…where on earth did I put it…?

How do you define yourself?

Working with professional sportspeople nearing retirement this is a very important question that I always ask. For many elite athletes, sport has been their only career, which can make career transition an extremely challenging process. How can you translate a career spent in one discipline in a way that is relevant to the commercial world?

This is the same challenge faced by all those seeking a change or shift in their career focus.

It begs the question ‘Am I only defined by my past?’

My firm belief is that it is not what we do but how we do it that truly defines us. You are not a professional sportsperson. You are someone who has demonstrated the necessary skills in a particular way that has enabled you to become a professional sportsperson.

The important thing is to think about how you demonstrate your skills. How do you use them differently to others? How can they translate into a different discipline? In what way will they benefit different employers and different customers?

It is not our past that defines us but our ability to adapt our past experiences in order to create a new and compelling future.

What is talent?

The dictionary definition is this: “Special ability…aptitude…natural ability…a capacity for achievement or success.”

The issue I have with this description is that it implies that some people have it and some don’t. If you fall into the latter category all you can hope for is to be the best you can and that may only be average.

Talent doesn’t have to be so specific.

Let’s pick up on one of the other words used in this description and that is “natural”. My belief is that not only do we ALL have talent it is often the things that come naturally to us that we tend to overlook and attach limited significance to. Things like having a natural empathy for people and situations, being a great listener, having a reliable instinct or being able to connect with people.

We may only see these as nice personality traits or you could take a different view that these are your talents that deserve to be nurtured and expressed.

They could also be the secret to your success…

I am a rock, I am an island…

Those brought up in the 70s may recognise these lyrics as belonging to Simon and Garfunkel. Is it possible to live like an island and actually would we really want to?

During tough times it can seem like an attractive option, to retreat from the world to lose yourself in your own thoughts. The thing is, it is impossible to live a life that doesn’t impact the world around you. Everything that we do or don’t do has an effect, rather like the spreading ripples on a pond after a stone has been tossed in.

I would argue that when we are facing challenges then that is exactly the time when we should be interacting with those around us. Seeking answers, asking for help and looking for common ground.

You never know, the person you speak to may be experiencing exactly the same emotions as you.